The Unruly Gardener Faces Summer

The heat is cranking up. The yard is doing what it’s going to do, but we’ve had some rain and the landscape needs nothing from me.

Well. I did break up the Queen’s Tears bromeliad this afternoon, and that was not easy. She was huge, pot-bound, and a real threat to the tenuous health of my back – for which I had to visit the doctor the other day. Floyd knows if I say, I think I have to go to the doctor, it has to be pretty bad.

Fortunately, all I needed was one anti-inflammatory that was so strong it left me queasy and reduced everybody’s inflammation within a half-mile radius, I’m sure.

Oh. Queen’s Tears. Twice a year or so it goes from an unassuming clump of razor-sharp leaves to a clump of razor-sharp leaves with pink-tipped stalks all over the place. Then the pink-tipped stalks do this:

Anyway, the heat is cranking up. It’s time to spend the middle of the day indoors.

I have confessed more than once that I cannot grow food. Fortunately, however, I can grow certain herbs. This year’s mint is doing very well, thanks to my abject neglect. Ninety degrees? Mint? There’s only one thing to do. Muddle up!

I take no credit for this recipe; I found it online. We’re not the type to experiment with adding basil, cocoa, cayenne, or whatever seems to be in fashion right now. We make our mojitos pure and simple.

Simple syrup, that is (2 parts sugar to 3 parts water, if you’re keeping count).

Anything with this much green in it has to be good for you. Fill that puppy up with ice. Go get the active ingredient from the cabinet in the foyer.

That looks like about nine ounces to me. What do you think?

Top it off with the club soda you miraculously remembered at Central Market this morning.

Scurvy prevention, pure and simple. To your health!

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