A Math Problem

Here’s a math problem for you: The Unruly Gardener is 60.25 years old. She has four bins of 2.5″ river rock weighing a total of 7.0 tons. Using a shovel, a wheelbarrow, and her 2.0 hands, she moves 2.33 of those bins to the landscape in 1.5 days, working from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. on the first day and from 8 a.m. to noon on the second day.

Question: Keeping sheer survival as a minimal outcome, how many pain pills will the Unruly Gardener need? Continue reading

The Sage’s Wisdom. Or Not.

It is a mid-July Sunday in central Texas. The streets are quiet, the two neighborhood pools half filled with families doing family things. This summer’s weather conversation is as follows: It’s hot, says one person.

Yes, comes the reply, but we were lucky this year. It didn’t start till late.

[End of conversation.] Continue reading

The Unruly Gardener Faces Summer

The heat is cranking up. The yard is doing what it’s going to do, but we’ve had some rain and the landscape needs nothing from me.

Well. I did break up the Queen’s Tears bromeliad this afternoon, and that was not easy. She was huge, pot-bound, and a real threat to the tenuous health of my back – for which I had to visit the doctor the other day. Floyd knows if I say, I think I have to go to the doctor, it has to be pretty bad. Continue reading